“The only way emotional assaults or physical abuse can make sense to a child is if he or she accepts responsibility for the toxic parent’s behaviour.“
Susan Forward, Author of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Warning: What you will read below is a tiny but very sickening insight into the abuse suffered by Lighthouse Associates and clients at the hands of malignantly toxic, anti-Christian family members behind the Daily Mail article and overall smear campaign against Lighthouse International Group.
This smear campaign started when we became Christian and through that we found the courage to confront our abusers. The abuse is horrendous and for the first time we are now starting to share why they are so intent on trying to destroy us. We have dark, sick secrets of their abuse of us that they never want to come out. They have no evidence to back up their false claims whilst completely ignoring our requests to release the evidence we have.
To our abusers and assailants reading this: you must now come clean, stop projecting your own shame and guilt onto Paul Waugh, Lighthouse and the good-hearted, hardworking souls here. You know who you are. We know you hate that we have come to Christ, but we still pray for you. 🙏 Our door is always open, but we will no longer carry this tortuous burden of your abuse any longer. Freedom...
Over the last 18 years Lighthouse International Group, its partners and its clients have undergone extensive levels of abuse from those who, in the last couple of years, have embarked on a maliciously false smear campaign with the blatant intent to try and cover up their abuse by attempting to discredit and ideally destroy Paul Waugh and Lighthouse. In the year preceding this smear campaign, Paul Waugh and a group of core Associate Partners, became Christian. We have since learnt that this is probably the biggest reason for these attacks because of our increasing commitment to reality, truth and righteousness that has come through our faith. With and through Christ, the reality is that we are now stronger than ever!
– stand against toxic and coercively controlling parents families. Cult families
⁃support survivors of toxic family and have them get the support they need to get out and stay out.
⁃encourage people to commit to the reality and necessity of a life long upbringing.
These predatory trolls sought to legitimise their predatory trolling through the Daily Mail and caused immense distress to ourselves and our children as a result. Tom Kelly, Adam Luck and the Daily Mail have not only endorsed this malicious smear campaign but also backed the perpetrators of extreme childhood abuse and neglect. Tom Kelly deliberately ignored our warnings as to who was behind this article, including his sources! In our work at Lighthouse to help people optimise their lives and careers/businesses, nothing prepared us for the level of malignantly toxic family abuse and neglect uncovered including horrific abuse such as these:
“My mother knew that I was taking and dealing drugs from my early teens. I also had a porn addiction from the age of 9 that she did nothing about. Now she is one of those behind this smear campaign trying to destroy my recovery and those supporting me through it! She is terrified the truth will come out!”
“When I was a teenager my mother hijacked my Facebook account and sexted my partner at the time with pictures she insisted on taking of me in my underwear. This included my mother acting as me on Facebook and encouraging my teenage partner to send her explicit pictures and videos. My partner had no idea what was really going on, thinking they were messaging me. My mother also watched the explicit videos of my partner with me and encouraged me to share with her about my sexual experiences and things she had advised me to do! I have evidence of all of this including her attempts to try and smear Lighthouse to cover this up!”
A child raped by a family member was told by her parent she was ‘a naughty teenager’. The parents of this child have been amongst the very worst trolls of Lighthouse because they have the most to hide.
“Many people are shocked when I say that the incest victims I’ve worked with are usually the healthiest members of their families. After all, the victim usually has the symptoms— self-blame, depression, destructive behaviors, sexual problems, suicide attempts, substance abuse—while the rest of the family often seems outwardly healthy. But despite this, it is usually the victim who ultimately has the clearest vision of the truth. She was forced to sacrifice herself to cover up the craziness and the stress in the family system. All her life she was the bearer of the family secret. She lived with tremendous emotional pain in order to protect the myth of the good family. But because of all this pain and conflict, the victim is usually the first to seek help. Her parents, on the other hand, will almost always refuse to let go of their denials and defenses. They refuse to deal with reality. With treatment, most victims are able to reclaim their dignity and their power. Recognizing a problem and seeking help is a sign not only of health but of courage.”
Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
“When I questioned my upbringing, challenged my parents on it and opened up to my wife about the neglect and damage that was done to me as a child, they committed me to a mental asylum where I was drugged. Since then there have been times when I have challenged my wife and she has threatened to send me back to the asylum, not because I’m sick but because she wants to try and control me knowing how traumatic that experience was for me.”
“Despite admitting to the sexual abuse of us as her sons and that we needed psychosexual therapy, our mother then compounded our abuse by claiming we were lying and spewing this all over media. She has been one of the worst predatory trolls, including her being an anonymous source in the Daily Mail, because she has the most to hide in terms of her abuse of us!”
“When I was 3 years old, my mother was confronted by a nursery school teacher because I was turning up black and blue with bruises from her vicious beatings.”
“My mother fed me from a milk bottle for the first 9 years of my life and only stopped when I insisted on it, after fearing my friends would find out.”
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
“‘You don’t fucking care, YOU’RE A BITCH!’ was my father’s reaction to me breaking down in tears whilst organising files containing intimate details of his divorce from my mother. He’d asked me to do this for pocket money.”
“When I told my mother that I’d been raped as a teenager by a peer she said, ‘Well you know sometimes people can think that these things happened when they didn’t.’”
“When aged 11, one evening I heard the rattling of metal so went to see what was wrong and saw my mum standing there with a large knife in her hand saying to me, ‘I’m going to kill him’. She has been trying to kill Lighthouse too because she has so much to hide!!”
“After I’d been raped, the first thing my mother said is, ‘You shouldn’t have worn that dress.’”
“Remember, accepting blame is a survival tool for abused children. They keep the myth of the good family alive by believing that they – not their parents – are bad. This belief lies at the core of virtually all self-defeating behavior patterns in adults who were abused as children.”
Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
“One of the biggest violations my birth mother said that crossed a line that ought to have never been said was if anyone, including my Dad, had ever sexually abused me/my sister, she didn’t want to know because SHE couldn’t cope with it!”
“One evening I suddenly saw my mum on top of my dad on the sofa punching him in the head as he, in his drunken stupor, tried to defend himself.”
“And all your children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of your children.“
Isaiah 54:13
“I asked my dad that if I was a drug addict, was going to die and desperately needed to go into rehab, would he want to know so he could help, he said, ‘I have finished my role as a parent and will not be responsible for anything in your life.’”
“I went to primary school not fully toilet trained and so suffered the embarrassment of wetting myself at school and on camping trips as old as 8 or 9 years old.”
“What makes a controlling parent so insidious is that the domination usually comes in the guise of concern. Phrases such as, “this is for your own good,” “I’m only doing this for you,” and, “only because I love you so much,” all mean the same thing: “I’m doing this because I’m so afraid of losing you that I’m willing to make you miserable.”
Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
“By the age of 11 I ‘hated’ speaking so much that I stopped and that lasted around two years. I only spoke when I had to, otherwise, nothing came out my mouth, just nods and shakes of my head. It was the psychological impact of what I was missing from my development as a child.”
“There would be times when my mum would go completely AWOL. When I was 11-12 years old my mum ran away from home to London for months not knowing if/when she would return.”
“Most adult children of toxic parents grow up feeling tremendous confusion about what love means and how it’s supposed to feel. Their parents did extremely unloving things to them in the name of love. They came to understand love as something chaotic, dramatic, confusing, and often painful—something they had to give up their own dreams and desires for. Obviously, that’s not what love is all about.”
Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
While the above is anonymous for now, we have written and audio evidence of all that is shared here and it will be used to hold malignantly toxic and predatorial troll family members accountable.
The brave souls behind these experiences will be sharing more about what they have been through as children and the lasting damage that has been done through their own personal posts and in the Waugh Rooms. We are sharing this publicly because we know it will give hope and inspiration for those who have tragically been through similar abuse growing up. Through our work at Lighthouse International Group we want to show the world that it’s possible to heal from childhood trauma and to then use the lessons to help others. In our 18 years of experiential research we have found that the greatest healing and transformation has only come with and through our faith in Christ.
There’s been very good reason as to why the reality of the abuse suffered by those at Lighthouse has taken such a long time to be shared.
1. Due to the depth of abuse we have been terrified of our abusers who have decided to actively sabotage our attempts to heal and strengthen through our work at Lighthouse. There are many terrifying experiences that aren’t shared above that will come out as we get stronger.
2. It has been incredibly traumatic to revisit these sensitive areas and be strong enough to share such intimate details publicly.
3. Lastly we desperately wanted to avoid this; no one wants to see such deeply traumatic abuses brought into the public arena. However, it’s now got to the stage where we need to defend the honourable work we do at Lighthouse in the most courageous and explicit way possible by holding our abusers accountable. We cannot let them as predatory trolls sabotage our healing and the healing of prospective partners and clients because they are trying to cover up a lifetime of abusing us.
After more than 20 months of defending our reputation, we are now publicly confronting the people and organisations that chose to side with malignantly toxic and abusive family members who are trying to cover over the abuse they’ve inflicted. Enough is enough!
The Daily Mail’s False Portrayal of Paul Waugh
I would like to announce for the record that IPSO after our reports to them is now officially investigating the Daily Mail UK on the numerous points of editorial wrongdoing against us at Lighthouse in relation to their gutter press article defaming and smearing us 🙏..
The Daily Mail article sought to falsely portray Paul Waugh as an abusive conman through a manipulated 3-minute audio and numerous malicious falsehoods. The reality is that the greatest abuse came from the very malignant toxic families that are trying to destroy him and us. In addition to Jai Singh’s article directly addressing this audio in the Daily Mail article about Lighthous International Group, we will add that we have an estimated 600,000 minutes of transcribed calls where Paul Waugh is deeply supportive and encouraging of all Lighthouse Associates. It is ridiculous that an opinion of someone should be formed based solely on 0.0005% of recorded evidence that has been manipulated and presented without crucial context. Therefore, as stated above, we have plenty of evidence to refute the false allegations made. We have asked our accusers for permission to release this evidence and they have consistently ignored our requests.
“Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart.”
Acts 8:22
Mel Francis has written about Paul Waugh’s repentant nature and willingness to take responsibility. Myself and other Lighthouse Associates backed Paul Waugh’s character through signed testimonies to completely discredit the ridiculous claims by those who hardly know him at all. Not only that, but Paul Waugh has publicly apologised and repented for his mistakes on Twitter for the world to see. This is an outright smear campaign against Paul Waugh and against Lighthouse that started after coming to Christ!
We at Lighthouse mistakenly released the name of a child abuse (now an adult) victim on YouTube some time back. It was a recording of one of our internal meetings. We were horrified and removed it immediately within minutes when it was brought to our attention. Repentance O Lord.
On the other side we have seen not one single genuine apology from the predatory trolls on Reddit, AKA our Predditors! Here’s a list of those who have felt completely within their rights to post malicious falsehoods about us and by extension endorse the past and present abuse endured by Lighthouse Associates and other Lighthouse clients.
u/Own-Station2707 (Name to come, subject to police clearance)
u/CreativeWrap919: Joanne Holmes, Chipping Hill Primary School (now stepped down as a moderator of anti-Lighthouse subreddit group)
u/throwawayeducovictim, u/vardypartykodi & more than 150 separately created Twitter accounts including @educofirebird: Jon Breen, Top Banana Websites Limited
u/Impossible-Change488 & u/SeasonNo1269: Dawn Ingram, Royal Navy & Royal Marines Charity
Whilst a tiny proportion of the above have deleted their posts, there’s been no acceptance of responsibility so we are doing everything in our power holding them legally and criminally accountable to their actions.
Conclusion: How to respond to this post
“Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.“
Psalm 34:14
If you are one of the people involved in the attacks online we ultimately want you to take responsibility for your actions, repent and make things right. We also encourage you to support your fellow assailants to do the same. You are complicit in the continued abuse of those who have come to Lighthouse to heal. We repeat, you will be held accountable for your actions.
If, on the other side, you are reading this as someone who has gone through situations equivalent to those in this post, or is in an abusive environment and wants to be supported to move into a healthier one through our mentoring, coaching, counselling and support communities, then we would love to hear from you.
17 Comments
Jack Comer on November 25, 2022 at 8:30 am
I’m shocked, your article about the real accounts of what happened to people who have suffered family abuse is absolutely diabolical. The truth needs to come out despite the immense pain and neglect from those who have written their horrifying experiences. God bless you all you brave souls.
Reading through each point… What a terrible broken world we live in. It is so wonderful that those who have suffered so terribly can come together to heal and grow. May God bless all who have shared and all of those with their own journeys who have not yet shared too. What is so devastating is that this is a snapshot compared to the horrors happening each and every day, especially to children.
Reading through this and what has been shared here is sickening. It just doesn’t seem real at times these are family members, these are parents, siblings… I have been abused, I have experienced the hatred and destruction that comes when someone is trying to hide from the truth. This abuse has come in some of the worst ways and impacts me to this very day at the age of 28, things that happened when I was 9 or 10 for example.
Tragically these abuses happen still today and the only to put this to an end is to face this and out this abuse. God bless us all, thank you all, each person who has brought their experience forward. This takes courage It is devastating that this has to be created, yet it is so so needed to put an end to this evil.
Reading about the abuse and neglect that everyone went through is really shocking and saddening. God bless us all and hopefully showing the reality of our upbringing helps others to find the courage to come forward and face up to their own abuse. What a testimony to challenge our upbringing and to break the silence! 🙏🏻
Just reading through the posts from those who have been viscously abused by their malignant toxic families, wow, God bless you all. Your strength and courage to share what you have, because you want to heal and wanting to share your story so that others can see they are not alone and there is hope. Thank you for sharing this article x x
Shocking and heartbreaking! It is shocking what happens behind closed doors in toxic families and continues beyond the events in many children’s lives because the trauma experienced gets dismissed, minimised, justified, and blame shifted and never resolved through the right person taking responsibility for the hurt and damage caused. Bless everyone who shared and those who aren’t yet able to, and bless those perpetrators for them to see the true extent of what their actions caused.
I feel sick reading this. God bless us, everyone who has suffered so much and are fighting tooth and nail to protect themselves and the community which has given them so much hope.
Bless us all and our brave faces that we learn to wear as children, in order to survive.
I’m learning every human being hides a horrifically traumatic experience that acts as a driver for the good (or evil) they do in their lives… Either way, to heal is to recognise it’s not all our fault, to be able to apportion responsibility rightly with our parents and free ourselves from the burden of shame that we took on at the time, to survive.
No more. We are standing tall in the truth, in the wake of the narcissistic abuse perpetrated by our toxic parents. We are learning to let go, and instead cultivate in ourselves the ability to parent and give ourselves the upbringing we deserved and yet so sorely missed x
I’m sitting here choked up reading these acts of abuse against children by their own families, those who were supposed to keep them safe! It has been extremely painful to share these because you have to sit with the reality that it actually happened and feel that again. Thank you for the inspirational courage of everyone to be willing to do this to continue the healing process and help others to know this is not normal and they can get help to end the cycles of abuse. Thank you God, Christ and the Holy Spirit for your strength to help us to share.
🙏❤️🔥 God bless every one who posted here and everyone who reads this and can relate. These are the families we come from. Phew… this is horrible. We keep these secrets and don’t want to let them out but I and we must for our healing and for the healing of so many others. I am still unearthing abuse every day and week and using it to heal and now teach others. 🙏🙏
This was so real and hard to read. The abuse and neglect by so called parents who care in the name of ignorance and control. The worst part is that this is just a sample from a small group of people. There are 8billion people in the world. How many more are suffering and have to suffer in the future until we open our eyes, see how inhuman we have become and inhumane on the back of it. It’s devestating to see the parents who not only committed these atrocities against their children but actually block their recovery!! Worse again those who join them as predatory trolls, looking for scraps off the Carcass. My prayers go out to all of those people especially the ones who have brought their stories out here. This is true courage.
How many children have to take their own lives because they can’t cope with the pain and suffering they endure. Godspeed God’s Kingdom. It is sickening that children feel they can’t say anything because of the fear of what will come back and that they will be blamed and not the perpetrator. God bless all those who are suffering in silence x x
Oh my word! I have known about some of these accounts before but to see them written out in black and white. Seriously I am shocked to my core. When you said they are distressing I thought “they can’t be that bad” but they are worse.
What is even more shocking is instead of repenting and feeling remorse and contrition and helping their children they are deliberately sabotaging their healing because of their own selfishness through trying to destroy Lighthouse!
Phew may God bless us all. Thank you so much everyone for sharing this makes such harrowing and shocking reading. So much of this abuse is hidden in families. I never spoke about my abuse and neglect from my parents till I was 24. Thank you everyone.
God bless all courageous souls who have shared! We must face the root, the core, the abuse otherwise it keeps us in a strangle hold, forever keeping us stuck in a purgatory state, living in hell. Cut off. Degenerate. Lost in hopeless desperation unable to heal and truly grow up. “The family is the basis of society. As the family is, so is the society, and it is human beings who make a family-not the quantity of them, but the quality of them.” Ashley Montagu
Prayers for all the predatory trolls to accept responsibility, to make their wrongs right. It’s the only way they can truly free themselves #repent
May God bless you all and anyone reading this who has been through this – more have than have not I imagine. I too have had my own abuse and neglect through my life and the key thing to understand here is that this still carries on today for so many of us here at Lighthouse and beyond!
For me the time when I was most vulnerable in my life when I was alone, broke and in need of support is when I met the most anger and hatred from my family. It took me years to accept that it was going on because I was so embarrassed, and I was in my 30’s!
I’m shocked, your article about the real accounts of what happened to people who have suffered family abuse is absolutely diabolical. The truth needs to come out despite the immense pain and neglect from those who have written their horrifying experiences. God bless you all you brave souls.
Reading through each point… What a terrible broken world we live in. It is so wonderful that those who have suffered so terribly can come together to heal and grow. May God bless all who have shared and all of those with their own journeys who have not yet shared too. What is so devastating is that this is a snapshot compared to the horrors happening each and every day, especially to children.
Reading through this and what has been shared here is sickening. It just doesn’t seem real at times these are family members, these are parents, siblings… I have been abused, I have experienced the hatred and destruction that comes when someone is trying to hide from the truth. This abuse has come in some of the worst ways and impacts me to this very day at the age of 28, things that happened when I was 9 or 10 for example.
Tragically these abuses happen still today and the only to put this to an end is to face this and out this abuse. God bless us all, thank you all, each person who has brought their experience forward. This takes courage It is devastating that this has to be created, yet it is so so needed to put an end to this evil.
Reading about the abuse and neglect that everyone went through is really shocking and saddening. God bless us all and hopefully showing the reality of our upbringing helps others to find the courage to come forward and face up to their own abuse. What a testimony to challenge our upbringing and to break the silence! 🙏🏻
Just reading through the posts from those who have been viscously abused by their malignant toxic families, wow, God bless you all. Your strength and courage to share what you have, because you want to heal and wanting to share your story so that others can see they are not alone and there is hope. Thank you for sharing this article x x
Shocking and heartbreaking!
It is shocking what happens behind closed doors in toxic families and continues beyond the events in many children’s lives because the trauma experienced gets dismissed, minimised, justified, and blame shifted and never resolved through the right person taking responsibility for the hurt and damage caused.
Bless everyone who shared and those who aren’t yet able to, and bless those perpetrators for them to see the true extent of what their actions caused.
I feel sick reading this. God bless us, everyone who has suffered so much and are fighting tooth and nail to protect themselves and the community which has given them so much hope.
Bless us all and our brave faces that we learn to wear as children, in order to survive.
I’m learning every human being hides a horrifically traumatic experience that acts as a driver for the good (or evil) they do in their lives… Either way, to heal is to recognise it’s not all our fault, to be able to apportion responsibility rightly with our parents and free ourselves from the burden of shame that we took on at the time, to survive.
No more. We are standing tall in the truth, in the wake of the narcissistic abuse perpetrated by our toxic parents. We are learning to let go, and instead cultivate in ourselves the ability to parent and give ourselves the upbringing we deserved and yet so sorely missed x
I’m sitting here choked up reading these acts of abuse against children by their own families, those who were supposed to keep them safe! It has been extremely painful to share these because you have to sit with the reality that it actually happened and feel that again. Thank you for the inspirational courage of everyone to be willing to do this to continue the healing process and help others to know this is not normal and they can get help to end the cycles of abuse. Thank you God, Christ and the Holy Spirit for your strength to help us to share.
🙏❤️🔥 God bless every one who posted here and everyone who reads this and can relate. These are the families we come from. Phew… this is horrible. We keep these secrets and don’t want to let them out but I and we must for our healing and for the healing of so many others. I am still unearthing abuse every day and week and using it to heal and now teach others. 🙏🙏
This was so real and hard to read. The abuse and neglect by so called parents who care in the name of ignorance and control. The worst part is that this is just a sample from a small group of people. There are 8billion people in the world. How many more are suffering and have to suffer in the future until we open our eyes, see how inhuman we have become and inhumane on the back of it. It’s devestating to see the parents who not only committed these atrocities against their children but actually block their recovery!! Worse again those who join them as predatory trolls, looking for scraps off the Carcass. My prayers go out to all of those people especially the ones who have brought their stories out here. This is true courage.
How many children have to take their own lives because they can’t cope with the pain and suffering they endure. Godspeed God’s Kingdom. It is sickening that children feel they can’t say anything because of the fear of what will come back and that they will be blamed and not the perpetrator. God bless all those who are suffering in silence x x
Oh my word! I have known about some of these accounts before but to see them written out in black and white. Seriously I am shocked to my core. When you said they are distressing I thought “they can’t be that bad” but they are worse.
What is even more shocking is instead of repenting and feeling remorse and contrition and helping their children they are deliberately sabotaging their healing because of their own selfishness through trying to destroy Lighthouse!
Phew may God bless us all. Thank you so much everyone for sharing this makes such harrowing and shocking reading. So much of this abuse is hidden in families. I never spoke about my abuse and neglect from my parents till I was 24. Thank you everyone.
God bless all courageous souls who have shared! We must face the root, the core, the abuse otherwise it keeps us in a strangle hold, forever keeping us stuck in a purgatory state, living in hell. Cut off. Degenerate. Lost in hopeless desperation unable to heal and truly grow up. “The family is the basis of society. As the family is, so is the society, and it is human beings who make a family-not the quantity of them, but the quality of them.” Ashley Montagu
Prayers for all the predatory trolls to accept responsibility, to make their wrongs right. It’s the only way they can truly free themselves #repent
May God bless you all and anyone reading this who has been through this – more have than have not I imagine. I too have had my own abuse and neglect through my life and the key thing to understand here is that this still carries on today for so many of us here at Lighthouse and beyond!
For me the time when I was most vulnerable in my life when I was alone, broke and in need of support is when I met the most anger and hatred from my family. It took me years to accept that it was going on because I was so embarrassed, and I was in my 30’s!
God bless and thank you for posting this, every single one of you, thank you.